Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat (season 2)/Episode 4b: The Birds and the Bees
Transcript (Title and episode production credits appears. The episode opens on The Reader of the Rules with his mothers Shuihua and Huohua in the palace guestroom) Shuihua: Oh our See-Yeh Shi-Yi has grown up! Huohua: When I met Shuihua, I'd never expect to see her beautiful son! The Reader of the Rules: Thanks mama and step-mama. You're the best parents I've ever had. Huohua: Oh See-Yeh... (Transition wipe to Sagwa, Dongwa, and Sheegwa in the alleyway with the Alley Cats) Dongwa: I know Wong Ton, you're two kinds of animal! You're part doggy, and part kitty! Wong Ton: Yeah, I know inkface. I got my 'tufts, 'paws, and tail from my dad, and the rest of my body is from my mom. Ling: My family is mostly Siamese cats, but my mom is part-Dragon Li. Sagwa: My grandma Nai-Nai has you guys beat. Her mama was a Chartreux who was born in Paris, France and her baba was a Siamese owned by immigrants from Thailand. Lik-Lik: That explains why her sister looks more like a Chartreux that got clawed by a radioactive Siamese cat! Sheegwa: Love is all around, as they say! Bo: My babas are such a great couple! Hun-Hun: Me and my parents' owners are strange. The man of the house is a Serbian immigrant while the woman is a local from here. (Nai-Nai walks up) Nai-Nai: Ahem. I heard you kittens ranting about my parenthood. My French mom was very quiet while my Thai dad was louder than her. And my son, Sagwa's baba, is different from me genetically. He looks more like his baba when he was younger, or my baba when he was younger. So is my sister, who has my eyes, personality, and sense of living but the rest of her is a Chartreux. (Baba Miao walks up) Baba Miao: Mama, I know my own Nai-Nai had a blissful French accent, and my own Yeh-Yeh had a normal, human, Asian accent. Being of two nationalities of cats is a thing I had trouble with as a kitten. Nai-Nai: I understand, my son. (Transition wipe to later in the day, where we see Sagwa and Fu-Fu talking on the alley way walls) Fu-Fu: Y'know Sagwa, I never knew that the catfish story was a thing. Sagwa: Well, I know Uncle Catfish as that guy who squirted water at me to tell me his origins, and as the guy who came to the conclusion that I love you. Fu-Fu: *blushing* I know, my hao pengyou. (Pan down to Sheegwa walking with Hu-Tieh) Fu-Fu: *from offscreen* And there walks Sheegwa and her friend Hu-Tieh. Hu-Tieh: I never knew you had a heart problem. Sheegwa: I know, Hu-Tieh. I've known I have a heart problem for only 2 months now. (Sha-Guniang runs up) Sha-Guniang: Hey Sheegie! Hey Hu-Hu! Sheegwa: *blushing* Hi... Sha-Sha? Okay, I cannot handle this! I need to talk to someone! (Sheegwa runs off) Hu-Tieh: What's with Sheegwa? Sha-Guniang: Dunno. (Transition wipe to Sheegwa with Mama Miao and Nai-Nai) Mama Miao: So what's with this big reveal? Sheegwa: I have a confession to make. I'm... Mama Miao: What? Sheegwa: I'm... Nai-Nai: Please, tell us! Sheegwa: I'M... Mama Miao: What is it? Sheegwa: I''... don't know my sexuality. Nai-Nai: Your sexuality? Sheegwa: You see, I like Hu-Tieh, a boy who fits my description, but I also love Sha-Guniang, a girl! I might be either bisexual or a lesbian! Nai-Nai: Then, how about pansexuality? It's the sexual, romantic or emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity. Sheegwa: ''THAT'S IT! I'm pansexual! (Transition wipe to Dongwa looking in the pond with a moody look) Dongwa: I really like her. But I also like him. *looks up* I love them. (Baba Miao walks up) Baba Miao: What's wrong Dongwa? Dongwa: Baba... I'm really not used to love because of my feelings. I love Hun-Hun and we plan on dating, but I also am in love with... Lik-Lik, the Reader's black cat. I'm... I'm bisexual. Baba Miao: *gasps* You're bi? Dongwa: I am! I'm bisexual! Concluded! (Transition wipe to Dongwa and Sheegwa talking with Nai-Nai) Nai-Nai: You have problems with being in the LGBT community? I'll tell you a story about a girl named... Yan Min. Dongwa: Okay then. (Flashback to a younger Yeh-Yeh, who is a girl named Yan Min. We see Yan Min running through the alleyway of a palace in Hohhot) Nai-Nai: *in narration* Ji Yan Min was born in the palace of the Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region's magistrate. Her parents, like most of the cats of the many, many magistrates of the Fujian province, including the Foolish Magistrate and his father, were Siamese cats. (We cut to Yan Min playing with two alley cats) Yan Min: Hah! I'm the best Tai-Chi master! Alley Cat #1: You're a girl, not a boy! Yan Min: I wish I was! Nai-Nai: *in narration* She was bullied for being a tomboy and wanting to be a good martial arts gal. Alley Cat #2: You're just a girl, you can't do boy things! (The two alley cats laugh) Yan Min: *whimpers* (Transition wipe to Yan Min running up the steps of the Hindu temple in the Foolish Magistrate's village) Nai-Nai: *in narration* After that magistrate left his post, he moved to the Foolish Magistrate's village, converted to Hinduism, and built a temple by the lake. (Cut to Yan Min and a younger Nai-Nai, then named Shu Jiao, playing during the Spring Latern Festival) Nai-Nai: *in narration* I met her at the Spring Latern Festival. She was getting really tomboyish and almost looked like a younger version of my son, your baba. Yan Min: Yeah Shu Jiao, you're an awesome gal! Shu Jiao: I love you so much! (Cut to Yan Min talking to her parents) Yan Min: Mama, Baba... I'm gay. Mama Min: Sweetie! I never knew! Baba Min: A Min cat has never been gay for centuries! Nai-Nai: *in narration* She came out to her parents, made the gender switch, and then... (End of flashback. We see Nai-Nai talking to Dongwa and Sheegwa) Nai-Nai: I better stop, as I don't wanna reveal a huge shocker! But, Yan Min did give me the collar Sheegwa wears today. Sheegwa: You mean Yan Min wore my collar?!? Nai-Nai: Yes. Now, you can run along and remember this tale. (Transition wipe to Baba Miao with Dongwa in the Magistrate's study) Dongwa: Dad... who's Yan Min? Baba Miao: The girl Nai-Nai told me about when I got Sheegwa's collar. I don't know much about that lady. I'll ask Yeh-Yeh. (Transition wipe to Baba Miao with Yeh-Yeh in the palace gardens) Baba Miao: Dad... who's Yan Min? Yeh-Yeh: Yan Min... Yan Min? Um... son... I have a confession to make. I suggest we go to the clubhouse to talk about this. (Cut to Baba Miao and Yeh-Yeh climbing inside the clubhouse and then sitting down) Yeh-Yeh: Alright... let me just say it for you. It's a big confession to make, and one that will shock you. I... was Yan Min. Baba Miao: *gasp* You're... HER? Yeh-Yeh: I am! I was born female! Baba Miao: That explains why... you hid your belly under blankets... an-and had Uncle Miao potty train me instead of you! So that means... I might be adopted? Yeh-Yeh: Yes. That's why. And no, you weren't adopted. You were born through artificial insemination. Your Uncle Miao was the donor for your mother. Baba Miao: *with tears in his eyes* So Uncle Miao... is my true dad? Yeh-Yeh: Technically. But... I still love you. (The two hug, and Baba begins crying as he does it) (Transition wipe to Sheegwa talking to Hu-Tieh and Sha-Guniang) Sheegwa: I've decided on who I'm gonna be loving for now. *sighs* It's Sha-Guniang. Hu-Tieh: Okay then! Sha-Guniang found love as well as Sheegwa! Sha-Guniang: Oh Sheegwa! (The two kiss) Sheegwa and Sha-Guniang: Ah-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... (Transition wipe to Nai-Nai licking herself. Dongwa walks in) Dongwa: Nai-Nai, I have to tell you something. Nai-Nai: Dongwa, can't you see that I am grooming myself right now. Dongwa: But Nai-Nai... I just want to sa- Nai-Nai: I am grooming myself, thus I am busy. Dongwa: Nai-Nai... you do not understand one thing about me, there's one thing about you that helped me come out of the closet, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOU INSPIRE ME! I love you, Nai-Nai! Nai-Nai: Dongwa? Of course I love you! You are my grandson, and I've always had room in my heart for you! Dongwa: You helped to inspire me to come out. You also inspired me to study martial arts, alongside... my cousin Peng. I love you like I remember him. Nai-Nai: Come here... (The two hug. Dongwa sheds a tear and purrs happily. Once they have finished, Baba Miao and Yeh-Yeh come in) Baba Miao: You know, this day has helped us to reconnect with each other. Nai-Nai: It was certainly love to the rescue! Category:Sagwa, The Chinese Siamese Cat Category:Episode Transcripts